we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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