you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
