Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
