People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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