Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The uberlube is also flammable
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
