last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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