She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Small penises have feelings too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
