sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you had me at cake vodka
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
