so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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