You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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