and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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