I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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