Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
either way he was missing a nipple.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
