You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
