i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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