After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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