I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
