WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
