I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
