i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
