i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize