Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
