just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
