Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize