he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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