I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
