gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
