I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
