just tell him i said nine months
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize