Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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