She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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