dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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