well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
