When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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