I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
too bad you live with your parents still
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize