This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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