The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
