My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woke up backwards on a recliner
this is an emotional support booty call
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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