I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize