He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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