Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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