I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize