My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
