Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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