I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dick very happy bro
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
