Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said her name was "party"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
