I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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