Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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