So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You pole danced in your parka.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
