How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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