I'm really into asian looking animals
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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