k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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