Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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