Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
