Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
