I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
