i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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