just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
