She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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