Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
