You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
