Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
