Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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