Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
