She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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