So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize