Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
