They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
