toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
