Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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