I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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