and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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