Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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