why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
