so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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