he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
