I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
