we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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